Ahhh, I'mmm sooo in love with you...
...Whatever you want to do, is all right with meeeee. Al Green is a smooth p.i.m.p.
All right. I suppose it is time to explain myself.
Hypocrite
n : a person who professes beliefs and opinions that She does not hold [syn: dissembler, phony, phoney, pretender]
LeeAnn. I don't feel bad at all. As a matter of fact, I am happy. Elated, even. The fact that you are so pissed about this makes me smile on the inside. I know, I may be kind of being a dick, or "the biggest fucking asshole in the world" as you so eloquently put it, but I don't care. I hate to take this back to the playground, but this is a taste of your own medicine. You and everyone else spend the vast majority of your time making fun of me for fooling around with randoms and calling me a "tool".
tool
n: A person used to carry out the designs of another; a dupe.
By my good friends at Merriam and Webster, they have provided the definition of a tool. Now, you call me a tool because I would fool around and get my rocks off with other girls, but by definition, the girls would be the tools. This is because I used them to carry out my designs, my design being of course to get my rocks off. This would make me the fuckin' carpenter. What's funny to me, and everyone else, whether they admit it or not, is that you are the biggest tool of all. Let me back up this statement with facts.
Fact: You had sex with Opie. Took him out to dinner. Paid. Took him out to mini-golf. Paid. Road head. You had sex with Opie...again.
-Now, by definition you are carrying out three designs there. Opie's love for food. Opie's love for mini-golf. And finally, Opie's love for getting his rocks off.
Fact 2: Cut back to this past school year. About 2:00 am. You may remember yourself driving from SUNFIELD TO BIG FUCKIN' RAPIDS. To have sex with Opie because he asked. Oh yeah, then you made him breakfast.
-Again, by definition, you are carrying out the unintentional designs of Opie.
The facts are irrefutable. Whether you realize it or not, you are the most gigantic tool in the whole entire world. And you know what? It's finally not me being made fun of for sexual exploits. Nothing you can say will make me feel bad about this.
You totally brought this upon yourself. Think about all the times you had hay days with me making fun of me. Now deal with this. Calling you out on this and calling you a tool is like calling the sky blue and the sun firey. You can sit there and feel sorry for yourself, or you can quit being a bitch and take a joke. Don't get mad at anybody but me. Don't get pissed at Opie. It's not his fault that I am writing this. This has been a long time coming and I am loving every second of it.
And about the voicemail you left me. I may be the "biggest fucking asshole in the world", but I am happy with myself, and that keeps me moving on with my life. You should just come to terms with this. Also, to answer your other questions. I did have fun making fun of you and yes, it does make me feel better about myself.
It's like that.
-Al Borlan
ps. Have a good vacation! :)
pps. I dare you to make fun of me again for being a "tool".
All right. I suppose it is time to explain myself.
Hypocrite
n : a person who professes beliefs and opinions that She does not hold [syn: dissembler, phony, phoney, pretender]
LeeAnn. I don't feel bad at all. As a matter of fact, I am happy. Elated, even. The fact that you are so pissed about this makes me smile on the inside. I know, I may be kind of being a dick, or "the biggest fucking asshole in the world" as you so eloquently put it, but I don't care. I hate to take this back to the playground, but this is a taste of your own medicine. You and everyone else spend the vast majority of your time making fun of me for fooling around with randoms and calling me a "tool".
tool
n: A person used to carry out the designs of another; a dupe.
By my good friends at Merriam and Webster, they have provided the definition of a tool. Now, you call me a tool because I would fool around and get my rocks off with other girls, but by definition, the girls would be the tools. This is because I used them to carry out my designs, my design being of course to get my rocks off. This would make me the fuckin' carpenter. What's funny to me, and everyone else, whether they admit it or not, is that you are the biggest tool of all. Let me back up this statement with facts.
Fact: You had sex with Opie. Took him out to dinner. Paid. Took him out to mini-golf. Paid. Road head. You had sex with Opie...again.
-Now, by definition you are carrying out three designs there. Opie's love for food. Opie's love for mini-golf. And finally, Opie's love for getting his rocks off.
Fact 2: Cut back to this past school year. About 2:00 am. You may remember yourself driving from SUNFIELD TO BIG FUCKIN' RAPIDS. To have sex with Opie because he asked. Oh yeah, then you made him breakfast.
-Again, by definition, you are carrying out the unintentional designs of Opie.
The facts are irrefutable. Whether you realize it or not, you are the most gigantic tool in the whole entire world. And you know what? It's finally not me being made fun of for sexual exploits. Nothing you can say will make me feel bad about this.
You totally brought this upon yourself. Think about all the times you had hay days with me making fun of me. Now deal with this. Calling you out on this and calling you a tool is like calling the sky blue and the sun firey. You can sit there and feel sorry for yourself, or you can quit being a bitch and take a joke. Don't get mad at anybody but me. Don't get pissed at Opie. It's not his fault that I am writing this. This has been a long time coming and I am loving every second of it.
And about the voicemail you left me. I may be the "biggest fucking asshole in the world", but I am happy with myself, and that keeps me moving on with my life. You should just come to terms with this. Also, to answer your other questions. I did have fun making fun of you and yes, it does make me feel better about myself.
It's like that.
-Al Borlan
ps. Have a good vacation! :)
pps. I dare you to make fun of me again for being a "tool".
posted by Alan @ 10:58 AM
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