Aw, great. You weren't supposed to see that, now you are going think I am a pussy.
Wow, I didn't think I was going to be part of this beautiful blogging community today. I just didn't feel like blogging today. Not a blog day for me. However, now I am due to a gigantic lack of other things to do. Phones aren't that busy today, although I just got off the phone with a retard who I had to repeat (what I started saying) "Sir, you're adjuster will be in contact as soon as she looks at the file" to "Look, your GODDAMN adjuster will call you, motherfucker." damn near a thousand times. After 10 minutes of that, I hung up on him. I was a little apprehensive to just cut the call off, but it felt good. He just kept asking the same questions about why his claim was denied OVER and OVER. I finally told him that it was in the policy book that HE bought three years ago. He was confused by the whole "theory" of literacy. I really hate people from Mississippi. There should be a rule that you can't live in America if you can't spell the state you are from. There is even a jingle to remember the spelling.
Anyway, here's a question to ponder...If you were just walking down the street and all the sudden you passed a person that looked EXACTLY like you, what would you do? I mean, like same size, face, everything, your exact twin. I, personally, would kill him on the spot in public. No conversation, no smile, I would just reign death and destruction. Simply because 1) He could be there to kill me and 2) If I kill him, I might become stronger and faster like in the movie The One with Jet Li.
Yesterday night was schweet. Not sweet. SCHweet. Kicked off the night by returning some shirts to Aeropostale, who's sizing system is a little off-key, I believe. I am not an XL, goddamnit. So, we saw Ryan Possehn with his girlfriend and her hot friend. Talked to Ryan and was introduced to said hot friend (can't remember her name). He said he would put in a good word for me, so that is nice, she had a really nice body. Again, I would have molested her. Went from the mall (which was full hot mothers and other various hot twats) to Celebration. Opie, Geoff and I paid a visit to Coldstone which was schweet for a number of reasons. 1) Ice cream 2) GREAT ice cream 3) A ton of hot chicks working and 4) Two smokin' twins worked there. One of the twins waited on me. Her name was Dani. I shamelessyy flirted with her whilst she made my peanut butter ice cream with twix, snickers, butterfingers, peanut butter cups, and fudge. She giggled because it was the biggest thing of ice cream she had ever made. Rookie. She was sexy though. So, I pounded the ice cream and we saw "Wedding Crashers", which was easily the funniest movie ever made. I about shat myself during a few scenes, it was really, really funny. Jeff was correct, it just might replace the Old School as the DVD of choice. The winds of change are a' blowin'.
I came to a realization last night. Myself. Geoff. Opie. Jeff. All guilty of my realization. My realization is that we are all pussies. I had a bit of an epiphany. We all suck something fierce. All we do is talk about getting laid and how hot these bitches (I mean that in a good way) are, but the only thing keeping us from getting laid is ourselves. If we just grew some cajones (Mexican for balls), and talked to the girls, we would get a tad bit more vag. Whew, that felt good to get out.
Tonight is looking pretty good. Geoff and I, and possibly Opie if he calls me, are heading into Hastings to eat at a Gook Buffet and then head over to the Barry County Fair. I am going to see Jordan Rodgers because I promised her I would, and I am pumped to see all the hot vag I keep hearing about. I am really just excited about the chink-ense buffet.
Just got back from lunch. It was good. Two BBQ chicken hooters and Geoff and I went to the new vending machine and I got myself a lil' steak sandwhich. It was soooo good.
Called Rebecca. She wants to come tomorrow, but might have to work. Who knows how this will pan out. Updates at 11 pm
-Alan Van Damme
Anyway, here's a question to ponder...If you were just walking down the street and all the sudden you passed a person that looked EXACTLY like you, what would you do? I mean, like same size, face, everything, your exact twin. I, personally, would kill him on the spot in public. No conversation, no smile, I would just reign death and destruction. Simply because 1) He could be there to kill me and 2) If I kill him, I might become stronger and faster like in the movie The One with Jet Li.
Yesterday night was schweet. Not sweet. SCHweet. Kicked off the night by returning some shirts to Aeropostale, who's sizing system is a little off-key, I believe. I am not an XL, goddamnit. So, we saw Ryan Possehn with his girlfriend and her hot friend. Talked to Ryan and was introduced to said hot friend (can't remember her name). He said he would put in a good word for me, so that is nice, she had a really nice body. Again, I would have molested her. Went from the mall (which was full hot mothers and other various hot twats) to Celebration. Opie, Geoff and I paid a visit to Coldstone which was schweet for a number of reasons. 1) Ice cream 2) GREAT ice cream 3) A ton of hot chicks working and 4) Two smokin' twins worked there. One of the twins waited on me. Her name was Dani. I shamelessyy flirted with her whilst she made my peanut butter ice cream with twix, snickers, butterfingers, peanut butter cups, and fudge. She giggled because it was the biggest thing of ice cream she had ever made. Rookie. She was sexy though. So, I pounded the ice cream and we saw "Wedding Crashers", which was easily the funniest movie ever made. I about shat myself during a few scenes, it was really, really funny. Jeff was correct, it just might replace the Old School as the DVD of choice. The winds of change are a' blowin'.
I came to a realization last night. Myself. Geoff. Opie. Jeff. All guilty of my realization. My realization is that we are all pussies. I had a bit of an epiphany. We all suck something fierce. All we do is talk about getting laid and how hot these bitches (I mean that in a good way) are, but the only thing keeping us from getting laid is ourselves. If we just grew some cajones (Mexican for balls), and talked to the girls, we would get a tad bit more vag. Whew, that felt good to get out.
Tonight is looking pretty good. Geoff and I, and possibly Opie if he calls me, are heading into Hastings to eat at a Gook Buffet and then head over to the Barry County Fair. I am going to see Jordan Rodgers because I promised her I would, and I am pumped to see all the hot vag I keep hearing about. I am really just excited about the chink-ense buffet.
Just got back from lunch. It was good. Two BBQ chicken hooters and Geoff and I went to the new vending machine and I got myself a lil' steak sandwhich. It was soooo good.
Called Rebecca. She wants to come tomorrow, but might have to work. Who knows how this will pan out. Updates at 11 pm
-Alan Van Damme
posted by Alan @ 3:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home