Well, I'll be damned.
Okay, so had i actually known that someone posted on this bad boy, i would have sooooo jumped on the bandwagon. I am fraid it might be too late for me to help Alan out on this. I might have to send some Facebook reminders to get this going again, because i miss it a considerable amount as well.
Oh Jesus, so where exactly should i start? Well, i was here in Marquette all summer. I think i came home 3 times this summer, no longer than 4 days at a time. And it sucked each time . . . wait, let me try to lay out an agenda of things to chat about. . .
1. Summer
2. Last year
3. Ben
4. Love life (or lack of thereof)
5. College
6. Work
7. Drinking
8. The here and now
1. Summer
My summer was the most wasted, saddest, and lonely summer i have ever experienced in my life. I too a lit class for the first half of the summer, which was nice, and i loved it. I moved into my house on Magnetic Street in Marquette. My room is rather small, but my bed is HUGE and i have my own bathroom and bathtub, more or less. My closet is an attic and it gets really ot and cold, but i like it. I painted it red and decorated nicely, so i love it. Oh and i have hanging plants in my room, as well. I love it. This summer was the saddest i have possibly ever been in my entire life. Partly because i felt like i had moved into a different phase of my life, and was very much alone in it. my roomies are nice. I love Jena. LOOOOOOVE Jena. Lola. . . lies, too much for me. And i guess i just didn't want what they wanted this summer. I didn't feel like drinking, fucking dudes, and laying around all day. So i crammed myself full or work and working out. My eating habits became super healthy and i ran and went to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day. Which resulted in me losing weight, but don't expect too much, i will never be thin by any means, but i am happy with what i weigh now. But i am more proud of the fact that i can comfortably run 4 miles 3 times a week. It's huge for me, i don't mean to brag, but it is. I spent a lot of time dragging myself through every day, some days i couldn't help but cry about nothing, and i would wake up for a couple hours every night. I started taking sleeping pills regularly, which sucked, but definately helped. My summer sucked. Thank God for Ben, Valley, Stevie, Seth, and my mom and dad for coming to visit me. It really helped, or at least a little bit. Ugggggggggh moving along. . .
2. Last year
So as you may or may not know, i spent a couple months falling in love with a boy who had no idea how i felt about him. Then it blew up and i kinda got my heart broken, then eventually won. Then he kinda cheated on me, i forgave him, we became official, he gave me a ring his mother wore when she was my age (which i love, and still wear occasionally), and we were together for about 6 months. As it was, i was 20, he is 19, and as a typical boy would have it, he wanted to take a break for the summer for a couple reasons, and however much i didn't like the idea, i decided what is going to happen is going to happen, so fine. He didn't stop calling for the first 3 weeks, blah blah blah, i am going to sut this short, because this shit is annoying to me, i am sure it is to you, as well. I'll just throw this out there to be clear: I've never been a believer in love at first sight. But i will never forget when i met Seth- i knew there was something there. Never happened to me before . . . so call it what you will, but i still have that feeling about him. Take it for what it is worth. ANYWAY, i hated Tasha this year, as she continued to only get weirder and more annoying. I still dread seeing her, and would consider kicking her out of my house if she would be brave enough to come into it. Ugh. Check Facebook if you think i am being unruly here- she is fucking weird. Sigh. Skating went well, i loved it. My suitemates, Chelsea and Angela pretty much rocked my world. I miss the dorms, but not living across the hall from Seth, that's for sure. Oh and i am so fucking glad to NOT live with Tasha, that it makes me grin thinking about it right now. I don't want to be drag on, and actually, i kinda don't want to reflect on my past year because it was a fucking rollercoaster . . . moving right along. . .
3. In case you didn't know, Ben Simcox is now at bootcamp in South Carolina. I write him once or twice a week, and now i am starting to write more than that, because i think he really likes it a lot when he gets mail. Well, actually, i know he loves it. And i miss him very very much. Ben is one person i can always count on to call me when i needed him to, just to chat and talk about whatever. He came and visited this summer, and we went fishing and cooked out with his family and chatted a lot. I miss him very much. I cried for about a week this summer when i found out he was leaving me. Just another reason why my summer sucked balls. I had a complete breakdown at work. All i can ever think about is Nyle and how much that sucked for me and everyone else it effected. And since i still do not want to think about that . . . I got a tattoo. Ben talked to me about doing all this army business long ago, but it really upset him that not one person was supporting him, everyone was making fun of him, calling him an idiot, protesting his decision. So even though it breaks my heart to think of Ben leaving, or his life in danger, or just not being around when i am home, i told him i would support him. So i am. I shut up when everyone made fun of him, and i argued when people called him dumb. . . bahhhhh, even though it is totally against how i feel. I am trying. SO in my silent protest in honor of Ben and Nyle, i got "Love wins." with a flower tattooed on my foot. I love it. LOVE IT. Just so you know. And i think that might officially make me a hippy. So everyone should mail Ben stuff. If you need his address it is on Facebook in his notes, or i have it, obviously.
4. Love life
Woah. So after the summer ended, Seth had kept me dangling, as well as me, myself keeping myself dangling on Seth. Seth came back liking someone else. So i said, fuck it, whatever makes you happy, i am going to be terribly sad, but have fun, because it is what everyone deserves. So i went my way, he would stop by and get his kayak from my garage, and stop by to say hello, all of which broke my heart. I turned 21 and that helped so so much. . . new people, new things, it was great for me. There is a guy from work who tried to get with me multiple times, but he had a girlfriend, and i was not interested anyway, so. . . yep. Anyway, Seth came crawling back, and i let him. And this is a really long story short, he changes him mind every other week, so we just axed that and decided to work on being friends. The problem with that is it's tough. We can't be around eachother and not get that old feeling back. We keep our hands to ourselves, (sadly), but it's still there. In a drunken arguement the other night, he was tellingme that he loves me and he hates it because he can't stop, but he doesn't know what he wants right now because he's 19th blah blah blah, and i told him i didn't care what he wanted because i don't want to be with him. Which is true. i want to be with him, because of the "feelings" i refered to earlier, but who knows, maybe i am wrong about him. We'll see, but until then, i like not worrying about him. I like going out, i like hanging out with boys and not caring, i love being this. Just single. He said that me saying that hurt him, and i continued to not care. I love Seth, too much, maybe, since this drunk arguement ended with us hugging and laughing, but i want to be single. And on that note, and few boys have been floating around, but oddly enough boy STILL are boys and only want ass. Which i refuse. And do not feel bad, at all, whatsoever. I am pretty much looking for someone who makes me laugh, and that is about it. And i'm not actually looking, not gonna lie. Something is going to have to slap me across the face to get my attention at this point. So there it is. LOOOOOOOVING IT!
5. College
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am dragging so badly right now. Seriously. My application for the social work program is due very soon. . . Oct. 1st, and i am still working on it, sadly. I suck. But oh well, i guess. I think if i don't get in for some reason, i might start to look into special education . . . but yearh, it is tough, i fall asleep all the time while i am trying to do my homework. Even right now, i am sitting in class typing this. This class kills me though. . . hmmmm. . . i guess i'll go to the library after this. Damnit.
6. Work
So i implement behavior programs with developmentally disabled children in the community and in homes for a mental health office in Marquette. it rocks. i never thought i would like working with dsabled children, but i love it. It is the most rewarding experience, and i am so so so lucky that i have a job that pertains to my major, it is amazing. Work was what pulled me though this summer, honestly. the kida and families are so amazing to grow with, i love it. And we just got a raise! Not that i am making tons of money, but i am working a lot. Finally this week i got some damn time off for school. Annnnyway, i have some great stories from work, and some awesome memories, but i will reserve them, since i am actually not supposed to talk about them anyway. But on another note, i worked at special olympics sports training camp this summer, and it was THE single most inspiring thing i have ever done in my life. I have never been so proud of myself. I feel like gave 100% and the kids gave it right back. It was so touching to see the kids strive and accomplish, and i will never forget it. I guess i don't know what else to say about it.
7. Drinking
Just a little note here: if i called you this weekend, i am sorry, i probably don't remember it. Oh, i am 21 years of age, currently. I love it, since i do not need to run and hide when police are near, and i can drink whenever i want to. YES.
8. Here and Now
I am so happy right now in my life, that it is a little disgusting. I have never been happier than i am right now. I do indeed have many reasons for this, maybe i'll spill later, but for now, that is all you need to know. Nothing bothers me anymore. I am so excited for every day to come, i wake up smiling and go to sleep smiling. . . i know this all sounds corny, but it is so true. I have recovered from the summer, and i am so very happy about it. it makes me sad that i wasted my summer away being in a sad, sad world. There was some good moments, but mostly, i wasted a lot of time. About 4 months of time, actually. In my current, current life. . . of Lola, one of my roomies got her 5th MIP this weekend. . . maybe her 4th, she thinks one of them got dropped, but is not entirely sure. Anyway, i am pretty sure she is going to go to jail. We had a dog this summer named Pearl, she was super cute, but a HUGE stress for me in my life, since i was pretyt much the only dog person in the house. Long story short- Chelsea (a roomie) came back from Canada for the summer and dropped off the dog in a crate at 4 in the morning on the front steps of the humane society. Which happens to be a felony, so she had to do the walk of shame in there and confess so they would drop charges. AHAHAHA crazy, but true. The lady bitched her out for about 20 minutes. Priceless. I have an opinion about it, but you can ask if you really want to know. Hmmm. . . what else? Did i mention how much i am obsessed with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Because i am. I saw Anthony Kiedis in the mall on Christmas eve, and i saw them in concert with Valley (who i desperately miss and love), which was fucking amazing.
On another note- I miss everyone so much. I am sorry i am so out of touch for the most part. I am really busy, and i try to make time for everything, but it is tough. But if you call and leave a v-mail or soemthing, i will most likely get back to you within 3 days. I am so sorry. I feel like i have bailed out on a lot of people, but i hope everyone can forgive me for that. I miss and love you all.
PLEASE start blogging people, i miss this!!!!!
Oh Jesus, so where exactly should i start? Well, i was here in Marquette all summer. I think i came home 3 times this summer, no longer than 4 days at a time. And it sucked each time . . . wait, let me try to lay out an agenda of things to chat about. . .
1. Summer
2. Last year
3. Ben
4. Love life (or lack of thereof)
5. College
6. Work
7. Drinking
8. The here and now
1. Summer
My summer was the most wasted, saddest, and lonely summer i have ever experienced in my life. I too a lit class for the first half of the summer, which was nice, and i loved it. I moved into my house on Magnetic Street in Marquette. My room is rather small, but my bed is HUGE and i have my own bathroom and bathtub, more or less. My closet is an attic and it gets really ot and cold, but i like it. I painted it red and decorated nicely, so i love it. Oh and i have hanging plants in my room, as well. I love it. This summer was the saddest i have possibly ever been in my entire life. Partly because i felt like i had moved into a different phase of my life, and was very much alone in it. my roomies are nice. I love Jena. LOOOOOOVE Jena. Lola. . . lies, too much for me. And i guess i just didn't want what they wanted this summer. I didn't feel like drinking, fucking dudes, and laying around all day. So i crammed myself full or work and working out. My eating habits became super healthy and i ran and went to the gym every day, sometimes twice a day. Which resulted in me losing weight, but don't expect too much, i will never be thin by any means, but i am happy with what i weigh now. But i am more proud of the fact that i can comfortably run 4 miles 3 times a week. It's huge for me, i don't mean to brag, but it is. I spent a lot of time dragging myself through every day, some days i couldn't help but cry about nothing, and i would wake up for a couple hours every night. I started taking sleeping pills regularly, which sucked, but definately helped. My summer sucked. Thank God for Ben, Valley, Stevie, Seth, and my mom and dad for coming to visit me. It really helped, or at least a little bit. Ugggggggggh moving along. . .
2. Last year
So as you may or may not know, i spent a couple months falling in love with a boy who had no idea how i felt about him. Then it blew up and i kinda got my heart broken, then eventually won. Then he kinda cheated on me, i forgave him, we became official, he gave me a ring his mother wore when she was my age (which i love, and still wear occasionally), and we were together for about 6 months. As it was, i was 20, he is 19, and as a typical boy would have it, he wanted to take a break for the summer for a couple reasons, and however much i didn't like the idea, i decided what is going to happen is going to happen, so fine. He didn't stop calling for the first 3 weeks, blah blah blah, i am going to sut this short, because this shit is annoying to me, i am sure it is to you, as well. I'll just throw this out there to be clear: I've never been a believer in love at first sight. But i will never forget when i met Seth- i knew there was something there. Never happened to me before . . . so call it what you will, but i still have that feeling about him. Take it for what it is worth. ANYWAY, i hated Tasha this year, as she continued to only get weirder and more annoying. I still dread seeing her, and would consider kicking her out of my house if she would be brave enough to come into it. Ugh. Check Facebook if you think i am being unruly here- she is fucking weird. Sigh. Skating went well, i loved it. My suitemates, Chelsea and Angela pretty much rocked my world. I miss the dorms, but not living across the hall from Seth, that's for sure. Oh and i am so fucking glad to NOT live with Tasha, that it makes me grin thinking about it right now. I don't want to be drag on, and actually, i kinda don't want to reflect on my past year because it was a fucking rollercoaster . . . moving right along. . .
3. In case you didn't know, Ben Simcox is now at bootcamp in South Carolina. I write him once or twice a week, and now i am starting to write more than that, because i think he really likes it a lot when he gets mail. Well, actually, i know he loves it. And i miss him very very much. Ben is one person i can always count on to call me when i needed him to, just to chat and talk about whatever. He came and visited this summer, and we went fishing and cooked out with his family and chatted a lot. I miss him very much. I cried for about a week this summer when i found out he was leaving me. Just another reason why my summer sucked balls. I had a complete breakdown at work. All i can ever think about is Nyle and how much that sucked for me and everyone else it effected. And since i still do not want to think about that . . . I got a tattoo. Ben talked to me about doing all this army business long ago, but it really upset him that not one person was supporting him, everyone was making fun of him, calling him an idiot, protesting his decision. So even though it breaks my heart to think of Ben leaving, or his life in danger, or just not being around when i am home, i told him i would support him. So i am. I shut up when everyone made fun of him, and i argued when people called him dumb. . . bahhhhh, even though it is totally against how i feel. I am trying. SO in my silent protest in honor of Ben and Nyle, i got "Love wins." with a flower tattooed on my foot. I love it. LOVE IT. Just so you know. And i think that might officially make me a hippy. So everyone should mail Ben stuff. If you need his address it is on Facebook in his notes, or i have it, obviously.
4. Love life
Woah. So after the summer ended, Seth had kept me dangling, as well as me, myself keeping myself dangling on Seth. Seth came back liking someone else. So i said, fuck it, whatever makes you happy, i am going to be terribly sad, but have fun, because it is what everyone deserves. So i went my way, he would stop by and get his kayak from my garage, and stop by to say hello, all of which broke my heart. I turned 21 and that helped so so much. . . new people, new things, it was great for me. There is a guy from work who tried to get with me multiple times, but he had a girlfriend, and i was not interested anyway, so. . . yep. Anyway, Seth came crawling back, and i let him. And this is a really long story short, he changes him mind every other week, so we just axed that and decided to work on being friends. The problem with that is it's tough. We can't be around eachother and not get that old feeling back. We keep our hands to ourselves, (sadly), but it's still there. In a drunken arguement the other night, he was tellingme that he loves me and he hates it because he can't stop, but he doesn't know what he wants right now because he's 19th blah blah blah, and i told him i didn't care what he wanted because i don't want to be with him. Which is true. i want to be with him, because of the "feelings" i refered to earlier, but who knows, maybe i am wrong about him. We'll see, but until then, i like not worrying about him. I like going out, i like hanging out with boys and not caring, i love being this. Just single. He said that me saying that hurt him, and i continued to not care. I love Seth, too much, maybe, since this drunk arguement ended with us hugging and laughing, but i want to be single. And on that note, and few boys have been floating around, but oddly enough boy STILL are boys and only want ass. Which i refuse. And do not feel bad, at all, whatsoever. I am pretty much looking for someone who makes me laugh, and that is about it. And i'm not actually looking, not gonna lie. Something is going to have to slap me across the face to get my attention at this point. So there it is. LOOOOOOOVING IT!
5. College
Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. I am dragging so badly right now. Seriously. My application for the social work program is due very soon. . . Oct. 1st, and i am still working on it, sadly. I suck. But oh well, i guess. I think if i don't get in for some reason, i might start to look into special education . . . but yearh, it is tough, i fall asleep all the time while i am trying to do my homework. Even right now, i am sitting in class typing this. This class kills me though. . . hmmmm. . . i guess i'll go to the library after this. Damnit.
6. Work
So i implement behavior programs with developmentally disabled children in the community and in homes for a mental health office in Marquette. it rocks. i never thought i would like working with dsabled children, but i love it. It is the most rewarding experience, and i am so so so lucky that i have a job that pertains to my major, it is amazing. Work was what pulled me though this summer, honestly. the kida and families are so amazing to grow with, i love it. And we just got a raise! Not that i am making tons of money, but i am working a lot. Finally this week i got some damn time off for school. Annnnyway, i have some great stories from work, and some awesome memories, but i will reserve them, since i am actually not supposed to talk about them anyway. But on another note, i worked at special olympics sports training camp this summer, and it was THE single most inspiring thing i have ever done in my life. I have never been so proud of myself. I feel like gave 100% and the kids gave it right back. It was so touching to see the kids strive and accomplish, and i will never forget it. I guess i don't know what else to say about it.
7. Drinking
Just a little note here: if i called you this weekend, i am sorry, i probably don't remember it. Oh, i am 21 years of age, currently. I love it, since i do not need to run and hide when police are near, and i can drink whenever i want to. YES.
8. Here and Now
I am so happy right now in my life, that it is a little disgusting. I have never been happier than i am right now. I do indeed have many reasons for this, maybe i'll spill later, but for now, that is all you need to know. Nothing bothers me anymore. I am so excited for every day to come, i wake up smiling and go to sleep smiling. . . i know this all sounds corny, but it is so true. I have recovered from the summer, and i am so very happy about it. it makes me sad that i wasted my summer away being in a sad, sad world. There was some good moments, but mostly, i wasted a lot of time. About 4 months of time, actually. In my current, current life. . . of Lola, one of my roomies got her 5th MIP this weekend. . . maybe her 4th, she thinks one of them got dropped, but is not entirely sure. Anyway, i am pretty sure she is going to go to jail. We had a dog this summer named Pearl, she was super cute, but a HUGE stress for me in my life, since i was pretyt much the only dog person in the house. Long story short- Chelsea (a roomie) came back from Canada for the summer and dropped off the dog in a crate at 4 in the morning on the front steps of the humane society. Which happens to be a felony, so she had to do the walk of shame in there and confess so they would drop charges. AHAHAHA crazy, but true. The lady bitched her out for about 20 minutes. Priceless. I have an opinion about it, but you can ask if you really want to know. Hmmm. . . what else? Did i mention how much i am obsessed with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Because i am. I saw Anthony Kiedis in the mall on Christmas eve, and i saw them in concert with Valley (who i desperately miss and love), which was fucking amazing.
On another note- I miss everyone so much. I am sorry i am so out of touch for the most part. I am really busy, and i try to make time for everything, but it is tough. But if you call and leave a v-mail or soemthing, i will most likely get back to you within 3 days. I am so sorry. I feel like i have bailed out on a lot of people, but i hope everyone can forgive me for that. I miss and love you all.
PLEASE start blogging people, i miss this!!!!!
posted by Hotdog @ 7:04 PM
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