a good run of bad luck

I don't like being accused of stealing. it's not my favorite thing in the world. Why would I steal a measly hundred dollars when #1 Today is payday #2 there are surviellance camera's all over and #3 I've worked there for a year and haven't stolen one penny, so why start now? I wish I didn't have to work this weekend. I'd drink myself into a coma, and live out the rest of my life in a hopsital bed. Sound good to you guys? gosh, stealing what a ludicrous thought.
Have fun!